By Miracle Udeagha
“The heart wants what the heart wants” is a cliché that couldn’t be more accurate. We truly can’t help whom we fall in love with. Love doesn’t care if someone is older or younger, but we certainly do.
Being in a relationship with someone way older or younger than you are gives the society a negative stigma, which causes people to obsess over it. And, that is why when we start developing feelings for people outside of our age brackets, we think our feelings are wrong.
We often put up walls and flee for the mountains, but before shutting the door on the chance at love, think about your potential lover’s maturity level.
If you both are on the same level of maturity, don’t let the attached age number cloud your decision.
Maybe you met an older lover when you were still immature. Each person we meet has a purpose in our life.
Maybe this person isn’t meant for you during your years of growing up, but you end up coming back to each other when you each hold the same mindset. Or, maybe this person was in your life at the wrong time to teach you something. Whatever the case, it may have happened for a reason.
Maybe he’s 35 and you are 20, but he is just as confused about his life as you are about yours. It might be scary having a 15-year difference in age, but you both are experiencing similar things in life. I don’t see why that number should stop the blossoming between two lovebirds.
Of course, he has seen more days on this Earth, but that doesn’t mean he understands where he stands in life more than you do.
If you both want the same thing from the relationship, then you have settled half the battle. Just like couples who are the same age, if you aren’t on the same page, things will be just as difficult.
Not only does society judge dating outside our ages, but it also expects that we all age and develop at the same rate. Furthermore, it is expected that with age comes maturity, which isn’t true.
Maturity is something that develops after experiences we face in life; you don’t just magically become mature on your 25th birthday. You can mature at a very young age, or maybe, you never truly mature.
But, society makes us feel that if we haven’t figured out ourselves by our mid-20s, we have lived and are continuing to live incorrectly. The majority of us have future plans and hope to be at a certain point by a certain age, but that isn’t always the reality of the situation.
People always say, “Act your age.” We are expected to leave our childish behaviors at our high school graduations and be mature “adults.” That is not the case for everyone, though, because we are all on our own, natural paths.
Experiences happen to people at different times in life, causing some to grow up faster or slower than the norm. You can be 24 years old with the mindset of a 45-year-old or vice versa.
Though I’m not an expert in relationships by any means, ultimately, leave all judgment behind when you find someone truly special. No two people are the same, just like no two romances are the same. Take each person as he or she comes.
I know lovers who are nine years apart and just as happy as those who are two months apart in age. Don’t close yourself off based on age, but take into consideration where people of different ages are in their lives.
Just because someone is a certain age doesn’t mean he or she fits a certain status quo.
Allow love to work its mysterious magic if you find yourself having a special connection with someone who is older or younger than you. Explore it and let it grow beautifully.
Editor’s Note: This article first appeared on MIRA’S-NOT-SO-SECRET-DIARY. CRISPNG obtained permission to republish it. However, it has been slightly modified to reflect our house style. You can read the original article here