Olu Jacobs vs Joke Silva: 10 things you need to make your marriage last like that of Nollywood legends

On November 16, 1985, the Jacobs tied the knot, and 39 years later, their marriage has been a true definition of “for better or for worse” for the power couple, Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva.

The Nollywood marriage model, who met on set for “Jero’s Metamorphosis” in 1981 just before Nigeria’s 21st independence anniversary, started with love at first sight for Olu Jacobs. Upon seeing Joke, he remarked, “Wow! This is the standard of the woman I’m going to marry,” which initially put her off, although she had anticipated meeting him due to his reputation at the time.

The two went on to become friends and got married four years later. The marriage has had its ups and downs, but they have remained committed to each other.

On challenges, the Jacobs have had their fair share. Joke mentioned there were many times she wanted to quit, saying the first was after they had their first child and her husband became unnecessarily aggressive towards her because he was still in character from a role he played.

Rumours of their separation surfaced due to Joke retaining her maiden name. However, Jacobs explained that she had an identity as a career woman and they wanted her to retain it, though she is Mrs. Jacobs at home.

In 2021, Joke opened up about her now 82-year-old husband dealing with dementia for some years. Despite this struggle, she has stood by him, accepting her fate and loving him differently.

She said, “I always used to bawl my eyes out, and then there came the point of acceptance. So in this journey now, it’s like I am looking after my father. That’s the way it is because the husband I knew is no longer there, but this man that is here is somebody that I still love, but in a different way.”

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Marriage can be challenging, especially in the limelight, but it is possible to maintain a loving and enduring relationship. Here are ten essential things you need to create a marriage that stands the test of time:

1. Mutual Respect:

Respect forms the bedrock of any successful marriage. It’s crucial to appreciate and value each other’s individuality, opinions, and contributions. Mutual respect ensures both partners feel valued and understood, fostering a strong and healthy relationship.

2. Effective Communication:

Open and honest communication is vital. Talking through issues, actively listening, and ensuring that you understand each other’s perspectives are key to resolving conflicts and preventing misunderstandings. Effective communication builds a deeper connection and keeps the relationship strong.

3. Shared Values and Goals:

Aligning on core values and working towards common goals can significantly strengthen a marriage. Whether it’s a shared vision for your family or aligned professional ambitions, having common ground keeps you united and focused on a joint future.

4. Support and Encouragement:

Supporting and encouraging each other’s dreams and endeavors is crucial. Celebrating each other’s successes and offering support during tough times helps both partners grow and strengthens the bond between them. Being each other’s biggest cheerleader creates a nurturing environment.

5. Quality Time Together:

Spending quality time together maintains the emotional connection between partners. Regularly setting aside time for shared activities or simply enjoying each other’s company keeps the relationship vibrant and ensures you continue to grow together.

6. Compromise and Flexibility:

The willingness to compromise and adapt is essential for a harmonious marriage. Understanding that compromise is often necessary to meet each other’s needs and being flexible to changing circumstances prevents conflicts from escalating and fosters a sense of balance and understanding.

7. Trust and Honesty:

Trust and honesty are fundamental to any lasting relationship. Building your marriage on a foundation of trust, always being truthful and transparent with each other, is essential for feeling secure and confident in your relationship.

8. Shared Responsibilities:

Sharing responsibilities, whether at home or in other areas of life, creates a balanced partnership. Dividing tasks and working together as a team helps manage life’s demands more effectively and ensures that neither partner feels overwhelmed.

9. Romance and Intimacy:

Keeping the romance alive is crucial for a lasting marriage. Small gestures of love and appreciation, such as holding hands, going on dates, or simply saying “I love you,” help maintain a deep emotional connection and keep the romantic spark alive.

10. Commitment and Patience:

A strong commitment to the relationship and patience with each other’s flaws and imperfections are vital. Recognizing that no one is perfect and being willing to work through challenges together strengthens the marital bond and helps build a resilient partnership.