Develop a shock absorber, forgive … 9 ways to get over an ex
By Euphemia Nwele
Breaking off a relationship is a sad and hurtful phase of people’s life. It allows your mind travel to all the signs you probably saw and ignored because you were in love, all the excuses you made for your ex because you were clouded by love to only see the good in him/her.
Breakups have a way of making you realise all the wrong things you have been doing that seemed right, how deceitful the one person you thought you could trust was to you.
Yes! These breakups happen for various unforgettable reasons. Unforgettable because you do not just wake up and erase memories by blinking your eyes, it doesn’t work that way.
It’s a heart threatening process trying to forget what you have been through and move on. Especially when it was not just a casual or mutual breakup but one that crushed your heart into tiny bits that you feel cannot be picked.
Breakups have a way of making you realise all the wrong things you have been doing that seemed right, how deceitful the one person you thought you could trust was to you.
It is true that you have had you heart-broken so many times, that you have lost your friends and possibly made enemies as a result of this.
Even at that you need to make peace with yourself and let it go – it is hard but you can try with these few tips:
- Talk to yourself: Especially if the breakup tore your self-worth and esteem up in shreds. You can try looking in the mirror each day, and speaking to yourself, love yourself and understand that you are worth much more. Your ex walked out of the door, and it simply means they never loved you enough.
- Put up words of affirmation: You can paste words like “you are loved”, ” you deserve better”, “you have a great life awaiting your embrace” and much more on your wall so you can see it whenever you walk into your room, or wake up in the morning.
- Get rid of ex files: Throw out all reminders of your ex into the waste bin till you train your heart to forgive and accept better.
- Do not speak to them for a while: Do not make enemies, but then do not call or text them for a while.
- Forgive: Do not be dramatic, when you take your breakup calmly it surprises your ex and he or she even realises what they have thrown away. So be quick to forgive.
- Go out: Go out more, hang out with friends and loved ones, your life should not be at a halt because of a heartbreak. Trust me, your ex is perfectly fine. Wherever they are, they are chilling. It’s ok to cry indoors for hours if necessary but do not let your life stop. Do not skip meals or work, they are not worth it.
- Be open to new relationships: Do not look for a rebound, do not hook up with someone because you are looking to forget your ex. It always ends badly, always! Instead go out and meet new people, open your heart to new ideas, do not use your ex’s sins to judge another soul.
- Do not show you are hurting: It makes you appear weak and fragile, and even if in truth you are, do not show the world that you are pained. Especially your ex.
- Develop a shock absorber: People would always mess-up, life would not always be great. So, yes, develop the ability to understand that people would always be people and do worst things than you could even imagine.
With all these, you will be in a train on your way to getting over an ex and moving on.
Please, share your breakup experience with me, let’s hear your story, what led to your break up and how were you able to get over your ex?
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