Blessing CEO: Why you shouldn’t tell your partner everything about yourself past

Nigerian relationship expert, Blessing CEO, advised couples on maintaining some secrecy in their relationships.

She made this known during her recent Pulse Hot Takes podcast. She suggested refraining from disclosing every detail of one’s past to avoid judgment. According to her, only matters affecting the partner should be shared. 

Blessing emphasized human nature’s tendency to judge, advocating for discretion. She warned against revealing past experiences like having sugar daddies, highlighting the subconscious judgmental nature of people. 

She urged women to withhold unnecessary details and men to ask specifically. She further advised forgetting partners’ pasts when starting anew, likening it to formatting a phone before selling it. 

She therefore cautioned against digging up buried pasts, stating that while people claim to want truth, they often struggle to accept it. She emphasized letting the past remain where it belongs to nurture healthy relationships.

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“It doesn’t help to want to know everything, it kills the relationship. When you meet someone, forget their past, they’re like brand new. It’s like selling your phone, they will format and wipe it first. Our minds are like computers. 

If someone tells us about their past, we would subconsciously judge them, and mark the word ‘subconsciously’. Why do I want to know her past? Many men dig up things that they can’t bury. Men say they want the truth but can they take the truth, let the past be the past,” she said. 

Why you shouldn’t tell your partner everything about yourself past

There are several reasons why it may not be advisable to tell your partner everything about your past. 

Here are 5 reasons:

Personal boundaries 

It is crucial to remember that everyone has a right to privacy and personal boundaries. Sharing too much about your past may compromise your sense of self and personal space. 

Some aspects of your past may be sensitive, and sharing them might make you feel uncomfortable or vulnerable.

Judgment and Misinterpretation 

Your partner may not have the same perspective or understanding of your past experiences, leading to potential judgment or misconceptions. Revealing certain details might cause your partner to misinterpret who you are now based on who you were in the past.

Trust and insecurity 

Overloading your partner with details about your past could potentially lead to them feeling insecure, especially if your past relationships were intense or involved difficult circumstances. 

Building a relationship on trust means disclosing information at a pace that allows both partners to feel secure and respected.

Moving forward 

Focusing too much on the past may hinder your ability to grow together in the present and plan for the future. Constantly revisiting past experiences can prevent the relationship from evolving and thriving in the present moment.

Maintaining mystery and interest 

Keeping certain aspects of your past private can help maintain a sense of mystery and intrigue in the relationship. Revealing everything upfront leaves little room for discovery and may impact the excitement of getting to know each other over time.

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It’s essential to strike a balance between open communication and respecting your partner’s autonomy and boundaries. Sharing details about your past should be a mindful and mutual process that strengthens your connection and understanding without jeopardizing individual identities and personal space.