10 things to know if you want to marry a pastor

“I cannot marry a pastor.”

That was Ifunanya’s answer to the ‘Can you marry a pastor?’ question.

She gave her reasons, “As a Catholic, I need to marry someone who shares my faith. Marrying a pastor could lead to conflicting life views, which isn’t ideal.

Additionally, in today’s world, there is a high incidence of misconduct among pastors. While there are certainly good ones, I’m often concerned about their priorities, as they appear to care more for outsiders than their own families.

Also, the responsibilities of a pastor can be overwhelming, and as a wife, I believe it’s essential to strike a balance between pastoral work and providing a proper upbringing for the children and it’s not so easy.”

For Uzoma, she said “It’s not something I aspire to, but if it is the will of God, I’ll definitely do it. However, I think they have a lot of responsibilities and restrictions.”

Pharm. Chioma did not mince words when she said she gave the reply “No. I don’t want to be fitted into a box, like people expecting certain behavior from me.”

However, Prosper, a student, believes it is not bad to marry a pastor, but wouldn’t want to marry one.

Many people do not seem comfortable with the idea of marrying a pastor, but it could be a fulfilling journey and should not be something that frightens you.

Pastors play a significant role in their communities and congregations, and if you’re considering marrying one, there are some important aspects to be aware of that will equip you for the journey ahead.

Here are 10 things to know if you want to marry a pastor:

1. Shared faith

Being a pastor’s spouse means sharing a deep faith in God. It’s essential to have a strong spiritual connection and be aligned in your beliefs.

2. Supportive role

Understand that as a pastor’s spouse, you’ll often take on a supportive role. Pastors have demanding responsibilities, and your support will be invaluable.

3. Privacy and public life

Pastors’ lives are often open books. Your personal life may be more public than you’re used to, so be prepared for some loss of privacy.

4. Time commitment

Ministry can be time-consuming. Be ready for irregular hours, especially on weekends and holidays, when church activities are at their peak.

5. Congregational expectations

Congregations have certain expectations from their pastor’s spouse. Be prepared to engage with the church community and uphold certain standards.

6. Emotional resilience

Pastors often deal with people in times of joy and crisis. You’ll need emotional resilience to support your spouse through various life situations.

7. Financial considerations

While many pastors are not wealthy, they have a strong commitment to their calling. Be prepared for a potentially modest income and a simple lifestyle.

8. Relocation

Pastors may need to move to different churches during their careers. Be open to the possibility of relocation and adapting to new communities.

9. Counseling skills

Be ready to offer a listening ear and support to people seeking guidance. Developing counseling skills can be helpful in your role.

10. Communication

Open and honest communication is crucial in any marriage, but even more so when married to a pastor. Discuss expectations, boundaries, and challenges openly.