What I will do if I have my sight again…Chronicles of a blind Nigerian (9)

By Demola Adeleke

It is in this world that our eyes shut and sleep

Once it’s a dream, we blind can see

We see so wide, so far and deep

So, I had a dream, a tale to spill

I saw a man completely covered in white

Right in his hands was a tray full of eyes

He beckoned at me and I walked down to his side

Then asked me what I will do if I once again have my sight

Sir, if I had my sight, the world will blow

I will walk over the moon to lick the snow

Pop champagne everyday and make a toast

I will tour the world from coast to coast

It is in this world that our eyes shut and sleep

Once it’s a dream, we blind can see

We see so wide, so far and deep

If I had my sight today, I will earn more charm

Call upon my crush and whisper to her ears

“Look into my eyes and tell me what you see”

For I Know optical expression comes only with living eyes

Prostitutes had better get ready cause I will drill and drill

What will school offer me when I’ve got more potentials on the street

Just tell ladies with huge butts to always watch their back

Cause my steady gaze on them may end up puncturing their ass

I learnt guys look harder when they take hard drugs

I learnt only cowardly guys go for Smirnoff

So, I will miss no day without taking my heroin

Maybe in our joint I will someday meet my heroine

I will peep through door holes to see naked girls in the bathroom

Then picture their nudity in my head and wank myself in the bedroom

I will carry the craziest haircut on my head and boast with pride

“Only bad boys like us can do this”, I will say and smile

I like the way secret cults confer respect on their members on campus

Once I see again, I won’t waste a minute in joining their caucus

Mistakenly tread on me and people will shed more tears on you than they did on Jesus

For I won’t stop until I become the ringleader in Abuja and in Lagos

Sir, if I had my sight again, I will be a new creation

Get tempted by bundles of naira notes I see littering around in the bank

Steal some at gunpoint and get chased with the police van

All thanks to my sight with which I will see where to hide till they lose track

All thanks to you Sir for you will be giving back my sight to perform these tasks

Once I have my sight, it’s no doubts that I will lose my insight

Human beings do have both at a time but I doubt if I will in my lifetime

For my sight will give me the chance to always visit the casino

Shuffle cards all day and spend hours at viewing centres watching Cristiano Ronaldo

My dreams of flying like the eagle will dissolve and I won’t mind being a Flamingo

So, I will only manage wading to Soweto without getting to Toronto

Once my sight returns, my pleasure deriving will take a turn

No more writing of short stories and blind chronicles on my wall

I will load my shelf with porns and games

Lavish all my time on baseless things that my eyes can see

“just give me back my sight”, I pleaded with the man

The man turned his back at me and left with the tray

The pressure in my bladder was what woke me from sleep

I stood from my bed and noticed everywhere was still dark

“This man didn’t give me my sight”, I said in my mind.

Not even in the toilet where I urinated did I see any white.

To those who wish for my sight restoration, please help me find the man completely covered in white!