The Incels Paradox: How Incels Attack Men Who Stand Up for Women

Incels pages on Twitter have always advocated that a man is a provider, a protector of his family, when a man behaves this way, he becomes respected by his peers and even his wife will love and respect him more. But the moment you are Prince Harry, a man protecting his wife from abuse and providing for her like the man he is “supposedly to be,” you become a simp, a finished man, a betrayal who should have divorced his wife when she was getting abused by the British media, thanks to the influence of the British royal family. 

The Incels believe that when a man is in such a position, powerful, with so many women willing to offer themselves to him, then there is no need for him to give up that position for a woman or be responsible, instead, he should get another woman.

In 2019, Prince Harry and Meghan tied the knot, and since then, there has been a lot of dissatisfaction with Prince Harry’s choice of partner. It was believed that a prince of such calibre should get married to a white, blonde, blue-eyed, virgin woman, not a woman who is older than Prince Harry, divorced, and mixed with black. So many people are of the opinion that the marriage is not going to last and that Meghan elevated her status just to get married into the royal family. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s 2024, and people are still waiting for the duo’s announcement of divorce. 

On Nov. 25, the New York Post posted on Twitter, “Meghan Markle releases statement after solo Thanksgiving appearance amid professional separation from Prince Harry.”

These media posts have sparked and exposed a lot of problems and, most importantly, elicited a range of bile from Incels, derangers who, in this context, are mostly men.

The first problem with such a post is how writers like Nicole Shakhnazaova worded such a headline in a sly manner, knowing fully well that many men would not open the article. 

The headline was a rage bait to elicit vile responses from men who were not happy with Prince Harry for making a decision to protect his wife and child by leaving the UK. This action has got on the nerves of so many Incels who are of the opinion that a man should never leave his heritage, country and position for a woman. For a man to be in such a position, he must protect that position with his life; after all, that was the position that got women interested in him in the first place. There is no need to protect such a woman, with such a position, he can get any woman that he wants.

Even when a lot of people explained it was rage bait and that Meghan only attended an event without Harry, Meghan never made such a statement and that it was a sensational clickbait to rile them up, these Incels in question doubled down explaining how since Meghan has finished using Harry to elevate her status and divorced him because she has no use for him.

Another problem is how journalists today get people to read their articles, which have to go sensational and don’t care about the impact and consequences of such behaviour. Meghan had hosted a group of Afghan women, and the writer knew if she had posted such news, it would not go viral, hence the headline’s wording and, most importantly, to get men to blame pile and be racist towards Meghan Markle. 

One such Twitter post, “Harry married an old divorced woman, just give up his birthright, heritage and generational wealth.” The generational wealth in question is wealth that was stolen and exploited from former British colonies. This means they don’t have a problem with racism as long as they are at the receiving end.

Another said, “She is a racist prostitute who made Harry give up his family for her.”

Mind you, Meghan gave up an entire career to be with him, but men are always blind to the sacrifices of a woman.

The next problem is how men are willing to hold on to the belief that they are separated. This obnoxious belief stems from the fact that a man should never give up his crown, which is generational wealth for a woman. According to Spare Harry’s book, there was no generational wealth, especially if you were the spare, and as a spare, he should behave like a spare, with no access to living in palaces except when it’s time to go for a representing the crown. 

Hence, the contradiction: if a man should not give up his crown or wealth to protect his woman, there is no crown or wealth, men just tell themselves these lies because they have a delusion and reverence for men in power, and they then preach a man is a protector and a provider, this goes to show how skewed and narrowed this thought process is. 

On a normal day, Prince Harry should be applauded for protecting his wife and child from the harm perpetuated by his family, but instead, he gets scolded and vilified. This further proves that men believe that a man who comes from wealth, even though as a spare he doesn’t have access to such wealth, should never give it up for appearance’s sake or to save face.

Another problem, this sensational post has become a cautionary tale by Incels to their followers that never leave your family of wealth to protect your wife and child from harm. Despite the community notes and a lot of people saying it’s fake news and made-up speculation, Incels are holding on to the headline because they just want a gotcha moment where they can say I knew she was the wrong woman, I knew the marriage was never going to last. 

Harry has been abused for protecting his wife; men would rather have respect for other men when he is a rapist, cheat, or an abuser than see a man love his woman and protect his wife from committing suicide. Wanting Harry to divorce his woman just to say I said it— so disturbing. 

It can be seen that the purpose of such a headline is for men to pile on Meghan and blame her for Harry making a decision as a man. One can’t help but think, if a man in his delusional state cannot protect his wife and child with wealth that has nothing to do with his name, why teach men they must be protectors and providers and, in turn, berate anyone who follows such teaching?

Editor’s note: This article was written by Joy Funmilola Oke and was first published on Naija Feminists Media (NFM).