By Miracle Udeagha
Today, I want to rant. Yes! This thing has really become a trend and it’s most common with the guys. Let’s address it once and for all, shall we?
Why is it that some guys like to lead women on? Is there some pleasure that guys derive from doing this?
Imagine meeting a guy, you get to the talking stage and just when you are starting to settle into the relationship, boom! You find out the guy is already in a relationship or worse, married.
Let me even share gist with you guys. This happened to a friend of mine some years back. According to her, she met this guy and got to the talking phase. You know that phase where they will be acting like your number is the only one in their phone book. Calls, messages, chats keep coming non-stop. Then the “have you eaten?” questions. Like if you haven’t eaten, they will ship you a cooler of rice.
So back to the story o, she was starting to enjoy this guy’s company. You know, the calls, interesting conversations and so on. One day, aunty was surfing through the internet and saw a wedding photo of this guy. She was shook mehn cos ‘unku’ never mentioned he was in a relationship or even married. See my innocent friend that was just starting to catch feelings.
According to her gist, later that evening when he called, she asked him about his wife and why he didn’t mention the fact that he was married.
“Oh! I forgot. Our relationship is kinda complicated at the moment”.
Who forgets to mention that they are married please? Who does that? You don’t forget such vital information. It’s not like your car keys or your atm card that you forget while stepping out of the house na.
If I were to be in her shoes at that time, I would have just activated the block button after that call cos really I don’t have time for BS. If you know me well, you already know this. Cos how the hell do you forget you’re married? Mehn ladies go through shit sha.
I really don’t get the point of leading someone on when you know you don’t have the intention of actually being with the person.
Is the person supposed to be the side chic? Or the second option you call up when you’re bored with your main option? Someone should explain the logic please so I can relate cos I really don’t.
It’s not a big deal, at least I don’t see it as one, if you tell a lady upfront that the relationship is purely just for “cruise”. I know these days, a lot of people are actually comfortable with being in a “friends with benefits” kinda relationship. If you just say this at the start, if the person is comfortable with it, no big deal! If not, you move! But why do you guys have to stay mute, lead the person on and then act like it’s their fault when they find out? To be honest, I see this as immaturity.
The worst breed of guys are the ones that will outrightly state the fact that they never asked the lady out in the first place. You didn’t ask her out, but you were spending time with her. Time that she would have devoted to someone that was actually serious. Is it not thunder that will fire you?
If I’m going to be in a relationship, I’m not going to assume we’re dating unless it’s made clear. You will just be a “special friend” in BBN Erica’s words. To avoid stories that end in tears. It can be really painful when you’re starting to enjoy being with someone and then you find out things you should have known from the start and avoided the person as such.
Truth is, this is one of the many reasons why women find it difficult to trust guys. Cos you never know who’s real and who isn’t. Guys will hardly ever tell you what you need to know. It’s like an in-built thingy for them to omit vital information.
I keep seeing this stuff on social media where they are like “post your boyfriend oh cos you might be dating someone’s man”. I’m really not a shipper of validating relationships on social media but I don’t blame these ladies. Cos you don’t know who is who these days. The guy you’re dating may be dating someone else who’s dating someone else and it goes on.
If you’re a guy and you happen to have led or are leading women on, please it has to stop! It’s unfair on both the lady being led on and your current partner. Same goes for ladies that do this. If not, the hell fire that is waiting for you ehn.
Note: This article was first published here