I Said No To Him

By Miracle Udeagha

First of all, Happy new year to you all!! May this be your best year yet.

Sometime in February last year, a guy came to make inquiries at the office where I was the front desk officer. I’ll now refer to him as Henry. After answering all his many questions and telling him more about our services, Henry asked for my phone number so he could let me know when his clients would be arriving.

I didn’t think much of it because customers usually prefer to speak directly to me while booking for our services rather than the office.

I willingly gave him my phone number for calls and not the WhatsApp line. Later that evening, after a long day at work, I got a call. I discovered it was Henry after the introductions. Thinking Uncle was calling to book our services o.

I later found out Henry was interested in me and not our services. Then I was in no mood for guys or any of that relationship crap so in my mind I just put him in a corner.

Henry would always come up with excuses to see me or talk to me. He would come to the office with a friend that supposedly wants to book our service just so he could see me. I found his antics cute sha but I wasn’t just interested.

I started to ignore his calls and messages but Henry was relentless. He made his intentions known finally. He wanted to date me. I told him plainly that I wasn’t interested as I had come out of a bad relationship recently and I needed some time alone to be single.

I later found out Henry was interested in me and not our services. Then I was in no mood for guys or any of that relationship crap so in my mind I just put him in a corner.

After a while, Henry disappeared. Calls stopped coming in. Messages too. I didn’t think much of this I just felt he was probably tired of chasing someone that didn’t want to be chased. Around July, I got a message on Facebook from him. He narrated how he was robbed in March and he lost my contact cos his phone had been stolen along with his car and some other valuables.

This guy was persistent mehn. I decided to give him a chance. What did I have to loose anyway? I got to know Henry better mostly through chats and calls. We never got to go on a proper date.

I discovered Henry had lingering trust issues from his previous relationships. I guess an ex hurt him pretty bad cos he was always going on about how he couldn’t bear being hurt again, how he can tolerate anything in a relationship apart from deceit, etc. Ahh, me that is already dealing with my own demons from past relationships, I wee now be dealing with another person’s own. Mba oo.

I also found out he’s a very emotional person. Small thing like this, uncle would start getting all mushy and emotional. I know being emotional can be a good thing but I just wasn’t comfortable with Henry.

He had too many demons he had to get rid off. I even advised him to see a therapist once so he could talk to someone about what he was going through. I don’t know if he took my advice. We’ve just been distant friends since then. Or so I thought.

On new year’s eve, I sent new year messages to most of the people on my contacts after church. Shortly after, Henry responded with a similar message. And then he wrote “guess what? We are getting married this year 2020”. Honestly, in my head, I thought he had found someone and was probably telling me in advance about their plans to get married. So I said congratulations to him. I got another message “You mean congratulations to you and me right?” I responded with “lol I don’t have any plans to get married this year o.” Henry then asked when I wanted us to get married.

“Us” bawo? It was then my brain boot that he was referring to both of us when he said we were getting married in 2020. Haa! Had I been dating this guy without knowing? For one, I made it clear from day one that I wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship. Secondly, he never asked me out and I tried as much as possible not to send the wrong signals so I wondered why he thought we were going to get married this year.

I had to tell him straight up o. Some of you must have seen a screenshot of the convo on my whatsapp story yesterday. I felt bad afterwards though cos I must have hurt his feelings judging from his response. But mehn I had to set things straight na. I never ever saw him in that way. And besides, if that was his way of asking me out I found it quite creepy. Which one is “we are getting married in 2020”? Hian. Henry hasn’t spoken to me since then.

Please help me with this matter o. Was I wrong to have told him off? Or did I in some way lead him on? Cos all the details of the story is what I have told you guys o. I’ll be in the comment section.

Editor’s Note: This article first appeared on MIRA’S-NOT-SO-SECRET-DIARY. CRISPNG obtained permission to republish it. However, it has been slightly modified to reflect our house style. You can read the original article here