How to handle emotional abuse in a relationship

By Blessing Divine

This is present in many if not all relationships.

Some people do stalk their partners. This doesn’t necessarily mean staying in corners to see who they speak with, where they go to after office hours, where they had their lunch amongst many other forms of stalking. It could be you stalk them by checking their phones constantly.

He’s gone to bed, she’s in the shower and you have the access to your spouse’s phone, you search for words like ‘love, sweet, baby’ this simply shows your insecurities. If you’re not already cheating, you have the tendency to do that. Trust is lacking. If you feel there’s anything, why not engage them in a conversation and give reasons why you feel they’re cheating.

For some people, they constantly embarrass their spouses in public. How can a man call his woman a slut in public? That’s extreme right? You could be guilty! It’s not until you call her a slut in public. She could be in a conversation with people and you’re present and you speak a word to hush her. This might not even be ‘shut up’, it could be ‘this conversation isn’t necessary’ ‘why are you guys arguing over this?’

I’ve been in a church before and a pastor who was leading the Bible Study kept asking people questions and since no one was willing to answer him because he was too verbose, his wife who was at the front row decided to help and was giving answers to his questions but a single wrong answer earned her an insult from the altar. It was too glaring to the congregation that this man has no respect for his wife. He couldn’t even spare her!

Ladies! Yes, the society is on your side. You can hit a man in public and nothing happens but a man who mistakenly does that might end up in jail. Don’t abuse this privilege with your spouse. He’s a human being too. Shouting on him in public, calling him names, hitting him and all reduces his self-esteem. He can’t do that to you because he’s supposed to be a gentle man but you should be a ‘gentle’ lady too.

I have to talk about this form of emotional abuse before I drop my pen because many women, ladies, girls have, over the years, abused the privilege of being a female.

Sometimes ago, I came across a disturbing video on the internet. A man was lamenting on how his girlfriend, who thought he was cheating, came to his apartment when he was at work, damaged his TV, broke all the plates, spoilt the fan, the air conditioner, upturned the whole house. He came home later at night from work only to see that with a note (apparently written by the girlfriend) that he deserved what she did as it was a reward for cheating.

According to him, she heard the wrong story and assumed he was a cheat. That’s emotional abuse. Damaging the valuables of your spouse is not a way to go about making them learn their lessons. Your spouse might have done wrong but remember, communication is key in any relationship. Let it out, talk to each other. Abuse is not a solution.