Corona and its many wahala

By Miracle Udeagha

Hey fam! How are you all doing? Who’s enjoying the lockdown? I know I’m definitely not! Boredom seems to be my surname these days. It is well though. We will definitely get through this and come out strong.

So I decided to entertain you guys a little during this lockdown period with some blog posts. A lot of you requested I talk about the corona palava so here it is.

When the whole thing started, I really was unbothered cos I felt it wouldn’t get to naija. Then one morning, I saw a trending post of how an Italian man has carried the thing to Lagos. I was like “haa! What is an Italian man looking for in Lagos now? Who did we offend?”

Then the cases started to rise and rise and rise. We all got scared. At least I know I did for a while. Then you see those ones that will be sending you all sorts of videos and audios about how the end times are here, how rapture is in April, how God sent this plague so we can all die from committing sins and so on. Kilode? It’s bad enough that we have to deal with all of this while sitting at home doing nothing, then you are now trying to instill more fear into people.

At some point, I stopped viewing status, videos and the like related to such. Ko necessary. If rapture wants to happen, let it happen. I don’t need a reminder. As for the end times, we started seeing the signs long before this pandemic started. Just because this one seems to be the most talked about, it now means the world has come to an end? Lol.

But this corona scattered a lot of plans sha. Some of our married unkus that were planning easter vacation with their side chics, na so coro coro look them come laugh say “you ain’t going anywhere my guy. Go house go siddon with your wife”.

Side chics sef don dey see something. No money dey come from oga side again. Who wan spend for this kain period?. Oga sef no wan come out from house as lockdown dey. The fear of catching corona alone sef is enough to keep people at home. The smart ones sha.

Those ones that said it’s church they want to be buried in, let’s just leave their matter for another day. My own is they should stay in church or their pastor’s house so that when she thing is spreading, we the innocent ones won’t be punished for their disobedience. I cannot can biko.

See me sef that was making plans on how I would treat myself on my birthday. Probably go to the spa, have lunch at a restaurant then chill with the family in the evening. Birthday come reach yesterday o na garri I drink for house las las. My account balance nko? Sincerely speaking, since I opened that account 6 years ago I have never had zero akkant balance. This one pain me oo.

Girlfriends and boyfriends sef dey their lane this period oo. Konji wey dey answer bastard before no reach for where corona dey oo. CORONA is the original bastard now. If you know you know.

As Bubari announced the 14 days movement restriction lockdown last night, I called popc to inform him. Make hunger no kill im pikin. Na so my guy say e go send money for ijebu garri and sugar so at least if we soak garri come garnish am with groundnut stomach go gauge wella. I just weak. Local man cannot come and kee himself.

Finally sha, na married women go enjoy this period well well. All them busy husbands wey dey like carry work for head, shebi las las na house una dey? Wifey go just dey thank God for the honeymoon that has been given to them now. Enjoy it while it lasts oo.

Las las we go dey alright oo. Let’s keep praying that all this goes away soon and that we all come out strong. In the meanwhile, please let’s observe all the necessary precautions and obey all the rules so we can help prevent the spread.

Stay safe fam! This article was first published here. You can follow the link for more interesting write ups.