Why your impatience cannot grow a perfect relationship

By Tesia Anigbo

Every relationship or marriage demands patience and tolerance from both partners to survive. This is because as humans, we are imperfect and so does every marriage. Thus, we must be patient and tolerant of our partners’ imperfections to earn improvement to make the relationship perfect for both.

Our imperfections are highlighted in our behaviour, race, religion, family backgrounds, status and others. There are ones that can be changed while others are fixed.

“Our imperfections are highlighted in our behaviour, race, religion, family backgrounds, status and others. There are ones that can be changed while others are fixed.”

For instance, I can’t change the tribe of my partner despite of my ill feelings towards that tribe. I have no option than to accept that my love is of that tribe. I cannot alter it. Perhaps, I am a sucker for huge shoe size but my love is blessed with small size; I can only but tolerate it; if the love can win over it

Aside abstract or physical qualities; a very sensitive issue in all relationships and marriages is financial security. Who and how we bring the bacon home because we cannot starve to death all in the name of love. Even, for us to live and not just be alive; we need to be responsible to hunt for food, shelter and clothing.  That is reality. Financial security is essential to every relationship. Both partners must judiciously have a material offering to offer.

In Africa and some parts of the world, it is mostly believed that it is a man’s major duty to bring the farthest cow while the female complements. However, with the tides and storms in today’s economy, roles between the males and females pertaining to who yields more money has been altered. Sometimes the money luck is on the man; other times on the woman. Whoever got the money luck should be encouraged and who is unlucky with also deserves encouragement.

“In Africa and some parts of the world, it is mostly believed that it is a man’s major duty to bring the farthest cow while the female complements. However, with the tides and storms in today’s economy, roles between the males and females pertaining to who yields more money has been altered. Sometimes the money luck is on the man; other times on the woman. Whoever got the money luck should be encouraged and who is unlucky with also deserves encouragement.”

Therefore, I don’t see the reason why I should be treated less a human by my man because I am not financially sufficient compared to his financial capability. I may or may not be working. He dictates towards me simply because of his financial prowess and considers it upright, but when a woman does the same to a man because she is more financially above, she’s termed materialistic, disrespectful, evil and something unheard.

He would make up a team from his family and friends to support his unsecured self. The woman knows no peace. If the woman voices out, she is told to adhere and do as he wants. It is only justified when he is the one giving no peace to the woman because he has more than enough money to care for her.  Is it a crime since she wasn’t lucky enough like you to make way in the society? Can’t you furnish her, Nurture her and make her dreams come through?

Marriage is not an obligation or bribe; it is a thing of the heart. That she is not up to you financially does not makes her unqualified for your wife. She also has a dream and vision. As a husband, it is your duty to help her find it. Some people need help finding their vision.  Maybe you are influenced by friends and families to make a maid out of your wife, since she only consumes and not provide.

Desist from such. After all, I am aware you did not consult them on how to make love with her whenever biological needs arise. I believe in “together we grow”. Since you are already grown, you can help her grow.

So eliminate that arrogant rich man trait and groom your wife so that she can find her success.