Why you shouldn’t mistake lust for love in a relationship

By Talent Ezeja

There is a thick line between love and lust. Yet, it’s increasingly becoming difficult to differentiate between the two, given the spate of violence, hatred and controversies rocking relationships nowadays. The ugly trend is not unconnected with erosion of the true understanding of love and its guiding principles. Today, lust is now gradually being misplaced as love. And the implications, like we are seeing, have always been catastrophic.

In simple term, lust means physical attraction or strong emotions that leads to an overwhelming feeling of sexual desires. It is often a fleeting feeling- mostly selfish- nursed by a party for the other and is terminated shortly after achieving a desired interest. Love, on the other hand, is a deep feeling of affection that you have for another person. It’s a lasting attraction that goes beyond the surface and turns into emotional attachment.

In spite of the clear-cut difference that exists between the two terms, happenings in recent times show they have been largely misconstrued. Many have fallen victim of lust in the disguise of love. A guy can decide to get a lady just to have sex with her. To achieve this ulterior motive, he will not hesitate to go extra mile to provide everything for her to make her happy, constantly reminds her that he has true feelings for the lady, until she finally falls in love with him.

However, once he satisfies his sexual desires, which was actually what made him to be attracted to the lady in the first place, he dumps her and moves on with his life. It is two sides of a coin. A lady can also accept to date a guy because of his physical looks or his pocket (financial strength), or both. Once such a man goes broke or the physical look fades, she dumps him for another guy. These two instances, unarguably, cannot be called true love but lust

A healthy relationship cannot be built on lust but true love. Love comes from compatibility, and it’s based on deep understanding between two partners that knows what is important, what keeps them tickling and the knowledge that you are both in for a genuine relationship built on true love, not a sex-induced relationship.

A healthy relationship cannot be built on lust but true love.

Someone that truly loves you will respect your decision in a relationship, whether to maintain absolute celibacy till marriage or not. Such person doesn’t bother you to go contrary to your decision. He or she doesn’t leave you but sticks to you until you are ready for it. A guy lusting after you might eventually leave for you for another lady or cheats on you to satisfy his sexual desires. A lady who loves a guy because of physical attraction or his financial wherewithal won’t also hesitate to abandon the guy if he finds a better option.

Guys. Ladies. You need to be sure before giving your heart to that person. Are you sure he/she truly loves you? Have you made efforts to evaluate his/her sudden ‘love’ for you to know whether it’s true love or mere lust? If you have, congratulations. If not, it’s not too late. Relationship is not a bed of roses. This means that only true lovers can weather the storms that may pop up during the course of a relationship. A guy can be attracted to a girl due to her indecent mode of dressing and calls it love at first sight without him knowing that he is actually lusting after her.

In conclusion, it’s tough these days to spot the difference between chemistry and compatibility and exactly what sets lust aside from love. Do not be confused with the difference between lust and true love so you won’t be deceived and not to be a victim of heart break. As long as you trust your gut, stay true to your values and know what you want in a relationship, you will find someone who truly loves you.

Relationship is not a bed of roses. This means that only true lovers can weather the storms that may pop up during the course of a relationship.