Softness as strength: how South African women are redefining power in 2025
African woman enjoying a peaceful moment.
As South Africa marks Women’s Day — a tribute to the more than 20,000 women who marched to the Union Buildings in 1956 against apartheid pass laws — new insights reveal a quiet but profound shift in how women view power and success.
According to the Her and Now: Insights into the Women of South Africa 2025 report by First for Women, the vast majority of women surveyed (90%) believe that gentleness and softness are not weaknesses but powerful strengths. An even greater proportion (94%) say they value balance over relentless ambition.
“In a culture that constantly demands productivity, resilience and a polished exterior, many women are intentionally choosing a different definition of power — one rooted in self-preservation, stillness, and protecting what matters most,” the report notes.
A New Definition of Power
The study, based on responses from more than 4,000 women, found that:
- 44% strongly agree softness itself is a strength.
- 58% strongly agree “the right to exhale” is as important as achieving goals.
- Half of the respondents crave quiet, uninterrupted moments that belong solely to them.
Dr Reitumetse Mpholle, Senior Manager of Insights and Research Initiatives at First for Women, explained that the research began with one central question: Is “fearless” still the right goal for women?
“We wanted to go deeper — to understand where women are right now, what’s keeping them awake at night, and what they want next,” she said. “The findings revealed that while we continue to show up strong in public, it often comes at a personal cost. There’s pressure to be the perfect mother, professional, and daughter — and it’s exhausting.”
The Hidden Toll
One of the most sobering insights is the ongoing safety crisis:
- Only 6% of women feel comfortable going out alone at night.
- 90% fear being home alone.
As Mpholle points out, “Safety is a basic human need. When that’s missing, thriving becomes an uphill battle.”
For mothers, the expectations are even more intense:
- 65% say the pressure to “hold everything together” increased after having children.
- 60.7% admit they sacrifice their own needs to keep their families stable.
Daily life often feels like a never-ending juggling act:
- 34% feel emotionally drained every day.
- 33% are praised for resilience despite feeling overwhelmed.
- 43% rarely have uninterrupted time to themselves.
- 63% feel like the backbone of both work and home life.
- 44% feel unsupported, even while being strong for others.
From Competition to Solidarity
A decade ago, there was a perception that women were often each other’s toughest critics. Today, that’s shifting dramatically. The research shows a growing culture of solidarity, where women encourage, support, and show up for each other — regardless of differences in age, life stage, or background.
The numbers are striking:
- 94% say they regularly encourage other women.
- 97% make an effort to support other women, even when it’s inconvenient.
This change is fuelling a “girl’s girl” movement rooted in kindness, small acts of encouragement, and shared understanding.
Success Reimagined
For many, ambition hasn’t disappeared — it’s simply evolved. Success is now about purposeful balance rather than constant striving. The ultimate fantasy? A slow morning, a walk by the ocean, or a peaceful bath without interruption.
“In a noisy, demanding world, choosing softness has become a quiet rebellion,” the report concludes. “Power is being redefined — not as endless hustle, but as the courage to protect your peace.”
As Mpholle summed it up: “We’re no longer telling women they have to be fearless all the time. You don’t need to be everything, every time, for everyone. Sometimes, choosing to rest is the bravest act of all.”
