Single at home, ‘married’ in school: Concerns over cohabitation in Nigeria’s tertiary institutions

Attraction between the opposite sexes drives them to do many things, one of which is cohabitation. Though not traditionally an African practice and often considered abominable, it has become more common in higher institutions across the country. In this report, PETER OKOYE, a 200-level student of mass communication at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka (UNN) examines the practice and associated dangers for students.

The issue of cohabitation on campuses is one that cannot be overlooked. It has been practiced for so long that it has now become a “normal thing.”

There is hardly any tertiary institution around the globe where cohabitation does not exist, given that the majority of the population in these institutions are youths who are not under the surveillance of parents or sponsors.

About 71% of students in Nigerian public tertiary institutions are estimated cohabiting with the opposite sex in school.

The Oxford Advanced Dictionary states that cohabitation is when a man and a woman live together and have a sexual relationship without being married.

A SEARCH FOR THE WHY

One would wonder why this issue of cohabitation is prevalent in tertiary institutions. The obvious factors that lure students into cohabitation include financial constraints, the need for academic assistance, lack of proper parental upbringing, disregard for African norms and culture, youthful curiosity, and peer pressure.

Students in tertiary institutions are within the youthful age bracket of 17-24. At this age, there is a tendency for most of them, who are outside the purview of their parents or guardians, to “explore life” and try many things.

Many would refuse to tag cohabitation as a menace. Logically, they are not to blame as financial constraints are a major factor that promotes cohabitation.

Female students, due to the paucity of finances in school, are pressured to live with their male counterparts and perform duties as a wife to him, including satisfying his sexual urges. The male, in reciprocity, is expected to meet the financial needs of the female student, which includes paying her school and tuition fees, buying textbooks, provisions, and other necessary items.

The male party in this aspect might be a student or a single or married working-class man living within or outside the school environs.

In the case of a non-student, female students, especially those living in the hostels, are pressured to move out of the hostel and live with such a man.

Students living outside the campus are the ones who mostly engage in cohabitation and are affected the most. They are also forced to cohabit in order to cut costs related to their accommodation. These students are compelled to live together and share the rent with their “partners”.

WHAT THERE IS TO LOSE

A greater percentage of students often disagree that cohabitation increases the risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), unwanted pregnancies, and abortions, but that is far from the truth and is a misconception given the adverse effects of cohabitation in the long run.

However, in antithesis, as it should be, there are adverse effects for students who engage in cohabitation.

A major, disastrous effect of cohabitation is that it can lead to unwanted pregnancies as a result of not being married but being in a sexual relationship.

There is a huge possibility of unwanted pregnancies, which would be termed illegal, and as a result, these female students would be forced to terminate the pregnancy.

This may recur over time in the relationship, potentially damaging the reproductive system of the affected student in the long run.

On the other hand, if a child from such a relationship is born, it will undoubtedly bring societal shame and stigma to both parties involved.

This has happened repeatedly, where such students give birth to the child and drop out of school to take on the role of a single mother, thus ending their academic career abruptly.

Another significant effect is abuse and infidelity. Since people cohabiting are not within the legal confines of marriage, abuse and infidelity are perceived to be rampant.

University of Chicago sociologist Linda Waite found that “16 percent of cohabiting women reported that arguments with their partners became physical during the past year, while 5 percent of married women had similar experiences.” Waite’s surveys demonstrated that 20% of cohabiting women reported having secondary sex partners compared to only 4% of married women.

Additionally, according to an article by Judith Treas and Deirdre Giesen, cohabiting couples are twice as likely to experience infidelity within the relationship than their married counterparts. These are not ideal experiences for students who should consider their studies a top priority. This effect could have a post-traumatic impact on them when legally married to their partners.

Another significant effect is that students involved in cohabitation decline in their academic life. They do not have ample time to concentrate on their studies due to the duties, especially female students, perform for their “husband,” which includes washing clothes, cooking, cleaning the house, and more.

These students often record the highest number of carryovers at the end of every semester, which is not a good way to pursue an academic journey of importance to their families and sponsors.

STUDENTS SHARE VIEWS ON COHABITATION ON CAMPUS 

The subject of cohabitation was met with mixed reactions from interviewees at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka.

Nwabunwanne Chigozie, a first-year student in the Department of Mass Communication, stated that financial incapability is always the linchpin that lures students to cohabit, which cannot be overemphasized.

He further explained that it is bad when it involves students of the opposite gender because sexual gratifications are often exchanged for pleasure, leading to many consequences for the marital lives of such students in the future.

He said: “I don’t see anything wrong if students live together, especially if they are of the same sex. But you and I know what happens when students of the opposite sex live together; that is morally bad.

“These students who involve themselves in cohabitation will marry in the future, so they shouldn’t start now to destroy their foundation. The risks and consequences associated with cohabitation are numerous, especially for the female, such as pregnancy and fertility issues due to numerous abortions over the years.”

On the other hand, Amagba Chinecherem, a penultimate year student in the Department of Pharmacy, argued that there is nothing wrong with cohabitation since students who engage in it are not kids but adults and hence are mature enough to do what they want.

She further opined that students of the opposite sex who cohabit should be reasonable enough to know that there are grave repercussions if the wrong things are done while they cohabitate, and it is to their detriment if they make mistakes.

“Cohabitation on campus is a normal phenomenon; it is very common. For me, I don’t see anything wrong with students living together to probably cut accommodation costs and help each other out when in need. As adults, they should know the reasons why they want to live together and also be prepared to face any challenges that arise” she stated.

“IT’S A WESTERN-IMPORTED CULTURE”

Also speaking, a final-year student from the Department of Nutrition and Dietetics, Ijeoma Maryjane, asserted that cohabitation is an activity meant for intending couples or persons who detest marriage but want to live together in a sexual relationship, and not for students who have come to school to study.

She further argued that the practice is “un-African,” calling it an alien culture imported from the Western world.

Maryjane said: “Students should focus on why they are in school, which is to study and make good grades. If students of different sexes decide to live together, we all know that a lot of things would go wrong, which will greatly affect their academics.

“If I would give a word of advice to prospective UNN students on accommodation issues, I would tell them to rather live with students of the same sex to avoid saying ‘had I known’ in the end.

“Also, this idea of cohabitation is not even meant for students; this Western-imported culture is actually established for intending couples or persons who are in a strong sexual relationship.”

LECTURERS ALSO REACT 

A lecturer from the English unit of the General Studies Division of the University of Nigeria, Miss Henrietta Okafor, gave insight into the adverse effects of cohabitation, especially as it relates to students’ academic lives.

She said that students who cohabit are the ones most vulnerable to chronic academic woes. The don said such students, especially the female ones, would tend to have divided attention as they perform wife duties for the male students they live with.

“The only bad side of cohabitation is students diverting their full attention to it instead of their studies, and in turn, they perform poorly in their academic grades. Cohabitation breeds unseriousness in students; it also makes them develop a lackadaisical approach towards their studies,” she said.

“After a whole day of marathon lectures, it is expected that a student should go back home, take a brief rest, and prepare for the next day’s round of academic activities. But in a case where a female student cohabits with a male counterpart, once she gets back to her lodge, she would definitely cook for him, wash his clothes, and even clean the whole room.

“By the time she is done with all the chores, she would feel too exhausted to do anything else and wouldn’t prepare for the next day’s lectures. This would, of course, continue to happen every day until the exam approaches, and she would consequently find herself in a tight corner.

“The pressures that come with cohabitation are themselves a catalyst for constant academic failures for those who engage in it. Of course, in all these challenges associated with cohabitation, the male counterpart is not spared at all.”

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A lecturer from the Department of Computer Science who is also the lead pastor of Ideal Life Campus Fellowship, Pastor Peter Obichukwu, spoke from a moral and religious angle.

He said that the need for constant sexual satisfaction for people who engage in it has made the act ungodly, stressing that nothing is wrong with students of the same sex or opposite sex living together.

“Coming from a religious background to this issue, I don’t think the idea of cohabitation is wrong, but the sexual factor has bastardized it because sex is meant for married couples alone; anything outside of it would be tagged fornication, which is a grievous offense in the sight of God.

“Coming down to the academic environment, cohabitation should be shunned by students because it is highly impossible for students of the opposite sex to live together in the same room for four or more years in the university without touching each other – of course, you know what I mean by that.

“It is pertinent for youths to draw themselves closer to God in their prime and avoid temptations that would always arise, such as the issue of cohabitation. Students should be steadfast in God for the sole purpose of what the future holds for them and not to destroy their lives through countless iniquities. In essence, cohabitation on campus is a moral dent in our tertiary institutions.”

THE WAY OUT

The issue of cohabitation will persist if necessary steps are not taken to address it.

Key measures to combat this problem include avoiding negative influences, reducing school and accommodation fees, and ensuring proper parental guidance.

Students should be educated on the dangers and adverse effects of cohabitation during freshmen orientation and matriculation ceremonies.

Ultimately, unless legally married, students aiming for a bright future in higher institutions have no moral justification for cohabiting, as it exposes them to numerous future repercussions.