Double dilemma: Should hardworking men choose submissive but broke women or alpha and wealthy ones?

Oftentimes, when it comes to relationships, hard-working men often face a unique dilemma: Should they settle with a submissive lady who has no means of income or choose a high-earning alpha female who is fiercely independent? At the same time, a lingering question sparks debates across social media—why do hard-working women gravitate toward equally ambitious men, leaving struggling men out of the equation?

This question isn’t just about gender roles—it’s a reflection of evolving societal norms, expectations, and the harsh realities of relationships.

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With the evolving society we find ourselves in, some norms and beliefs are also changing and adapting to suit the new generations of humans in it.

The idea of submissive and broke women

The ideal structure in traditional societies makes it so common for men to be the sole providers while women focus on managing the home.

The idea of a submissive woman who depends financially on her partner has always been romanticised in traditional cultures. She’s portrayed as nurturing, supportive, and willing to prioritise her partner’s success over her own ambitions.

For many hard-working men, this archetype represents stability and a relationship dynamic where roles are clearly defined. A man earns, and the woman focuses on the home and emotional well-being of the family. However, times have changed. Women now occupy top positions in business, politics, and entrepreneurship. Yet, we still find some women who still cling to the expectation that a man should shoulder all financial responsibilities in a relationship.

The Cinderella in distress waiting for their prince charming to save them.

Also, the movie industries also promote this idea where the poor girl is saved and changed by the rich, powerful prince.

The cloudy reality of Alpha women

On the other hand are the alpha females. The working class, financially independent woman who brings her own wealth and ambition to the table. While she seems like the perfect partner in theory, many men find this dynamic intimidating.

Men also find them competitive because these sets of females often challenge traditional gender roles and traditional norms. They demand equality, shared decision-making, and sometimes even dominance in the relationship. This power dynamic can leave some men feeling emasculated or sidelined.

Moreover, in a society that has long celebrated the man as the head of the household, this shift is hard to embrace for many. A man once said, “Dating an alpha female feels like a competition. She earns more, wants to make all the decisions, and I feel like I’m not even needed.”

Which one then?

Some advocates of the “love is enough, submission is better” argument suggest that relationships should transcend financial concerns. However, this view often falters, especially in the face of real-life challenges like paying bills, raising children, and building wealth.

Hard-working men who settle with women without income often risk being viewed as providers rather than partners. While some men embrace this role, others find it difficult to reconcile their hard work with a partner who contributes little beyond emotional support.

However, some men prefer women who can share 50/50 with them but can’t tolerate their assertive nature and their question for success. Such men are usually intimidated by the success of the partners and may feel the woman won’t accord them respect as the man of the house.

On the question of “which women to choose,” the answer isn’t black and white. For some hard-working men, love, character, and emotional support outweigh financial contributions. For others, financial stability is non-negotiable.

This isn’t to downplay the value of non-monetary contributions, such as homemaking or emotional labour, but in today’s economy, financial compatibility is increasingly critical.

While there’s no universal rule for relationships, one thing is certain: love thrives when both partners bring value, respect, and effort to the table.

What do you think?