Pet names, intimacy…10 things you shouldn’t do in the talking stage
Photo Credit: Delmaine Donson Photo Source: Getty images
The talking stage is that awkward yet exciting period where you and your potential boo are figuring out if you vibe well enough to take things to the next level.
It’s a time to learn, connect, and build a foundation. But just as it’s a time for making a good impression, it’s also easy to mess things up if you’re not careful.
Here are 10 things you definitely shouldn’t do during the talking stage, especially if you want to avoid hearing “It’s not you, it’s me” on WhatsApp one random evening.
1. Don’t Overdo the Pet Names
Calling someone “baby,” “honey,” or “my love” too soon can feel forced and cringy. If you just met last week, they’re not your “king” or “queen” yet—relax. People value authenticity, so don’t rush into the emotional lane before you’ve built some trust.
2. Don’t Ask “What Are We?” Too Early
This question has broken more relationships than village witches. Asking too soon puts unnecessary pressure on the other person. The talking stage is meant to be a time to get to know each other, not to define a relationship that hasn’t even started.
3. Avoid Being Too Forward About Money
Ah, this one’s delicate. Asking for money or “urgent 2k” when you’re still in the talking stage can ruin your chances, especially if the person is already skeptical of your intentions. Similarly, showing off your bank alerts on Instagram doesn’t make you look like a baller; it makes you look unserious.
4. Don’t Ghost and Resurrect
One minute you’re all “Good morning, have you eaten?” The next, you’re silent for two weeks. Consistency is key. People don’t have the time (or patience) for this disappearing act. If you’re genuinely interested, show it.
5. Don’t Overshare Your Past
Yes, we all have baggage, but going into unnecessary detail about your ex who cheated or that time you were ghosted by someone else can make the other person feel like they’re being compared. Nobody wants to feel like a rebound or part of your trauma series.
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6. Don’t Rush Intimacy
Whether physical or emotional, rushing intimacy can scare people away. People love vibes, but they also value pacing. Build the connection first instead of rushing to ask questions like, “When can I come to your house?” You’ll look like you have ulterior motives.
7. Avoid Being Overly Critical
“Why do you dress like that?” “You’re still using Android?” People have a strong sense of identity and pride, so coming off as judgmental about someone’s lifestyle or choices is a sure way to kill the talking stage. Nobody wants to feel judged while trying to impress you.
8. Don’t Make It a Job Interview
Asking a million questions about their salary, family plans, or life goals all at once can feel like an interrogation. Yes, these are important topics, but the talking stage isn’t a recruitment process. Ease into those conversations naturally.
9. Don’t Forget to Read the Room
You should be big on communication, and if a person is giving one-word replies or isn’t reciprocating your energy, take the hint. Don’t be the person who keeps pushing when it’s clear they’re not interested. Save yourself the embarrassment.
10. Don’t Fake Who You Are
Pretending to like afrobeats when you don’t, overhyping your career, or borrowing your friend’s car just to impress someone will only backfire. People value realness. Be yourself, because that’s who they’ll eventually meet if things work out.
The talking stage is all about balance—don’t overdo it, but don’t underperform either. People love authenticity, good vibes, and intentionality. Stick to these principles, avoid these pitfalls, and who knows? You might just make it to “meet the parents” without any hitches.
