Healing after heartbreak: Understanding relationship withdrawal syndrome

Breaking off a relationship can be incredibly painful, often leaving you feeling like a part of you is missing.

What many people don’t realize is that the overwhelming emotions you experience after a breakup aren’t just in your head—they’re rooted in biology. This phenomenon, often referred to as relationship withdrawal syndrome, explains why love and loss can feel so devastating.

What is Relationship Withdrawal Syndrome 

Have you ever been heartbroken and felt like you were literally falling apart? Maybe you couldn’t sleep, your appetite disappeared, or you kept checking your ex’s social media, hoping for some kind of sign. That’s relationship withdrawal syndrome.

It happens because love—especially in romantic relationships—acts like a drug. When you’re in love, your brain releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. These chemicals make you feel happy, safe, and connected. But when a relationship ends, your brain suddenly loses those “happy hormones,” leaving you craving the emotional high you once had.

How It Manifests

Relationship withdrawal syndrome can manifest in various ways, including:

1. Obsessing Over Your Ex: You find yourself replaying conversations, looking at old pictures, or stalking their Instagram.
2. Mood Swings: One minute you’re fine, the next you’re crying over the plate of jollof rice you once shared.
3. Physical Symptoms: You might lose your appetite, feel constantly tired, or struggle to sleep.
4. Overthinking: You start questioning yourself: What did I do wrong? Will I ever find someone like them again?
5. Isolation: You withdraw from friends and family, feeling like no one understands your pain.

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How to Cope With Relationship Withdrawal Syndrome

If you’re experiencing these feelings, you’re not alone. Many people have gone through this and come out stronger. Here are some relatable ways to cope:

1. Talk to Someone You Trust: Whether it’s your closest friend, a sibling, or even your pastor, opening up can help ease the burden.
2. Stay Off Their Social Media: As tempting as it is to “check up” on your ex, this only prolongs the healing process. Mute or block them if necessary.
3. Stay Busy: Get involved in activities you love. Join a gym, take a cooking class, or volunteer. There’s always something happening—tap into that.
4. Focus on Your Growth: Channel the energy you spent on the relationship into improving yourself. Learn a new skill or pick up a hustle.
5. Surround Yourself With Loved Ones: Lean on your support system. Friends, family, or even online communities can offer comfort and perspective.
6. Seek Professional Help: If the pain feels overwhelming, consider speaking to a therapist or counselor. Mental health is important, and it’s okay to ask for help.
7. Be Patient With Yourself: Healing takes time, and there’s no set timeline for moving on. Trust the process and give yourself grace.