Gaslighting: Avoid toxicity in your relationship, quit now!

When you find yourself constantly apologizing to your partner for things you didn’t do when you have to accept the blame for things you can’t remember doing, to the point of questioning your sanity, Guess what? You’re being manipulated and it is called gaslighting.

In this article, we’ll look at what gaslighting is, how to spot it, what it does to people, and how to deal with it.

What Gaslighting is?
Gaslighting is a manipulative form of emotional abuse that can wreak havoc on relationships. It involves a pattern of psychological manipulation aimed at making the victim doubt their reality, memory, and perception.

The term “gaslighting” originates from the 1944 film “Gaslight,” in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s going insane.

Gaslighting is like a tricky game where one person wants to control the other person by making them doubt what they see, remember, or feel.

Common Signs of Gaslighting

• Denial: The gaslighter denies saying or doing hurtful things, even when there is clear evidence that they did so. They might tell you that you imagined it.
• Trivialising Feelings: They act like your feelings aren’t important and call you names like “too sensitive” or “crazy.”
  Shifting blames: They blame you for things that aren’t your fault, making you feel guilty.
• Keeping Secrets: Gaslighters don’t share important information, so you’re left feeling confused.
• Projection: Gaslighters often project their negative traits onto their partner, making the victim feel like they are the one with the problem.
• Isolation: They might try to keep you away from friends and family so you rely on them more.

The Impact on Victims

Gaslighting can have severe consequences on the victim’s mental health and overall well-being. Some common effects include:

• Anxiety and Depression: Constant manipulation and doubt can lead to constant worry and sadness.
• Low Self-esteem: You might start to doubt yourself and feel like you’re not good enough.
• Isolation: As victims are cut off from their loved ones, they may become increasingly isolated, making it harder to escape the abusive relationship.
• Physical Health Problems: The stress of gaslighting can manifest in physical health issues such as headaches, digestive problems, and sleep disturbances.

How to Deal with Gaslighting

• Recognize the Abuse: The first step is acknowledging that you are a victim of gaslighting. Trust your feelings and intuition.
• Get Help: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist who can support you and see things differently.
• Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the gaslighter and be firm about it.
• Document Incidents: Keep a journal of gaslighting incidents, including dates and details, to validate your experiences.
• Go for therapy: Seeing a therapist can help you heal and learn how to deal with gaslighting.
• Quit: If the gaslighting keeps occurring, consider ending the relationship for your well-being.