Baltasar Engonga: 12 common reasons why people cheat

The recent scandal surrounding Baltasar Engonga, former head of Equatorial Guinea’s anti-graft agency, has shocked many after he was found with over 400 recorded sex tapes involving married women. This revelation, leading to his arrest, has brought the issue of infidelity into the spotlight, raising the question: Why do people cheat?

Cheating in relationships is complicated and often painful, with many possible reasons behind it. While these reasons don’t excuse cheating, they can help us understand why it happens. Here are 12 common reasons why people cheat:

1. Lack of Physical Intimacy

Physical closeness is a significant part of most relationships, and if this element fades or becomes inconsistent, it can create feelings of frustration. People who feel rejected or unfulfilled physically may stray in search of validation or satisfaction.

2. Emotional Dissatisfaction

Emotional needs are just as important as physical ones. If someone feels emotionally disconnected from their partner, they may seek that connection elsewhere. When communication, intimacy, or affection is lacking, some people feel tempted to look outside the relationship for support or understanding.

3. Seeking Validation

Some people cheat to feel valued, attractive, or wanted. If their self-esteem is low or if they don’t feel appreciated in their relationship, attention from someone new can serve as a temporary boost, even though it may hurt their partner.

4. Boredom or Desire for Excitement

Relationships can sometimes fall into routine, leading one or both partners to feel a lack of excitement. This boredom can drive people to cheat as a way to experience the thrill of something new and different.

5. Lack of Commitment or Mismatched Values

If one person isn’t as committed to the relationship as the other, they may feel less bound by loyalty. For instance, someone who sees relationships as temporary or casual may not view infidelity as problematic, especially if there are differing expectations around commitment.

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6. Opportunity and Low Risk of Getting Caught

When people are in situations where cheating is easy and the chances of getting caught are low—such as traveling for work or spending time with someone else in private—they might feel less inhibited. Temptation combined with opportunity can lead to impulsive decisions.

7. Feeling Taken for Granted

When people feel unappreciated in their relationships, they may look for external relationships that make them feel valued. Feeling overlooked or unimportant in their primary relationship can make the attention from someone else feel refreshing.

8. Revenge or “Payback”

Some people cheat as a form of retaliation, often if they feel their partner has wronged them or has also been unfaithful. It’s an attempt to “even the score” or express unresolved resentment.

9. Incompatibility in Relationship Needs

Partners who have differing needs—whether emotional, physical, or lifestyle—may drift apart. If one partner has unmet needs that are not openly discussed or resolved, they might seek fulfillment outside the relationship.

10. Addiction or Impulsive Behavior

Some individuals may struggle with addiction or impulsivity, making it harder for them to resist temptation. For example, people with sex addiction, personality disorders, or other compulsive behaviors might engage in infidelity despite feeling regret afterward.

11. Falling Out of Love

Feelings of love and affection may diminish over time, especially if a couple grows apart or loses connection. In such cases, one partner might become emotionally involved with someone else as a result of no longer feeling deeply connected to their primary partner.

12. Unresolved Personal Issues

Personal issues like childhood trauma, past betrayals, or fear of commitment can also play a role. These unresolved issues may lead to behavior that ultimately harms the relationship, like infidelity, as a coping mechanism for personal insecurities or fears.