10 things you shouldn’t do on a first date
Image Credit: Skodonnell /Getty Images/iStock
First dates can be exciting and nerve-wracking. Whether you’re meeting for amala at a local buka or sharing a candlelit dinner in an upscale restaurant, the stakes are high—you want to impress, but you also want to be yourself.
However, there are certain behaviors that can ruin the vibe faster than a failed bank transfer. Here’s a detailed guide on what to avoid on your first date.
1. Don’t Fall for “African Time”
In Nigeria, being late is often joked about as “African Time,” but let’s be real—it’s not a good look. Showing up late without any explanation screams disrespect, especially if your date arrived on time. Whether it’s Lagos traffic, a fuel queue, or an unexpected rainstorm, plan ahead to be punctual. If something unavoidable comes up, call ahead to explain. It’s all about courtesy.
2. Don’t Turn the Date into a Therapy Session
Nobody came on a first date to listen to stories about your ex who “ate your money and ghosted you” or how your extended family drama is stressing you out. Oversharing too soon can make your date feel overwhelmed. Instead, keep the gist light and positive. Save the heavy stuff for when you’re more comfortable with each other.
3. Don’t Be Glued to Your Phone
Imagine sitting across someone who’s scrolling Instagram, laughing at TikTok videos, or replying to “where are you?” messages on WhatsApp. It’s not just rude—it’s off-putting. Keep your phone on silent or tucked away, and focus on your date. Being present and attentive goes a long way in building connection.
4. Don’t Overshare About Your Family Drama
Yes, we know Nigerian families can be a lot, but a first date isn’t the place to talk about how your cousin borrowed your money and hasn’t returned it or how your mum is pressuring you to marry. While it’s okay to mention family briefly, avoid turning it into the main topic of conversation.
READ ALSO
GT Bank finally addresses transaction delays… Here’s what to know
Kemi Badenoch, the British-Nigerian leading UK’s immigration fight against Africans, others
Love is not enough…7 relationship facts every man should know
5. Don’t Monopolise the Conversation
It’s tempting to talk about your achievements, side hustles, or even your big plans to “japa,” but don’t turn the date into a personal monologue. Ask your date thoughtful questions, listen to their responses, and show genuine interest in their life. A good conversation is balanced—it’s about us, not just you.
6. Don’t Overdrink
Whether you’re at a lounge sipping cocktails or enjoying palm wine at a local joint, drink responsibly. Overdrinking might lead to embarrassing behavior, and no one wants to be the person who had to be escorted home after a first date. Know your limits, and if you’re unsure, stick to soft drinks or water.
7. Be Polite to Everyone Around
Your behavior toward people like waitstaff, security guards, or vendors speaks volumes about your character. If you’re rude or dismissive, your date is likely taking mental notes—and they’re not good ones. Treat everyone with respect, and your date will see you as someone kind and considerate.
8. Avoid Hot Political Debates
Yes, there’s a lot going on in the polity—political drama, economic challenges, and social issues—but a first date isn’t the place for heated debates about elections or fuel subsidy removal. These topics can be polarising and may ruin the relaxed vibe of the date. Save them for when you’ve built a stronger connection.
9. Don’t Assume They’ll “Foot the Entire Bill”
The “who pays” question is always a big deal in the Nigerian dating scene. While it’s common for men to pay on a first date, assuming your date must handle the bill can come across as entitled. Offer to split or pay for something small, like drinks or dessert. Even if they insist on paying, the gesture will be appreciated.
10. Don’t Be Clingy or Pushy
You just met—so why are you already calling them “my love” or asking about marriage? Slow down. First dates are for discovering if you enjoy each other’s company, not for locking down a commitment. Take things one step at a time.
